It’s amazing how, sometimes, all the pieces to a puzzle will suddenly fit together when the one missing piece is found. My first thought, as soon as I learned of Dr. Charles Cziesler’s testimony, is that this explains everything. Or, if not everything, it at least-to quote one of my favorite lines from the movie “Almost Famous”-“explains so much.” I have pasted below Alan Duke’s CNN article. Pay attention to the passages I’ve highlighted and underscored, especially when we take into account the symptoms Michael was displaying in the last weeks of his life according to many witnesses. Now, I will say this much, for what it’s worth-I believe at least a couple of those symptoms have been exaggerated, either by the media or by those who genuinely believed there was reason for alarm when, perhaps, there wasn’t. I will get to those a bit later in the post. However, that still leaves a slew of other symptoms and what has become vastly obvious as a rapid deterioration of Michael’s health over a two month period. With this being obvious from the reports, but with so little medical knowledge to go on (and so little known about the long-term effects of propofol use) I had began to theorize that perhaps what Michael was suffering was essentially a kind of slow poisoning process, as the toxins from these nightly treatments accumulated in his bloodstream and organs. While under ordinary circumstances, propofol metabolizes quickly, there is simply not enough known about its long-term effects if used consecutively for many nights. “Propofol abuse,” in other words, is still a relatively new concept, although its use as a muder and homicide weapon isn’t unheard of.
This, for example, was a local case in Alabama that made national headlines (and note Denise Willoughby was charged with capital muder!):
Now, with what Cziesler has testified, it seems my theory may not have been too far off the mark. Michael, it seems from all indications, was slowly dying as a result of Murray’s nightly “treatment” although I had underestimated the role that a lack of REM sleep was possibly playing in that demise. It may not have been the same as being poisoned, but considering the long term toll that Murray’s nightly regimen was taking on his body-and which, according to Cziesler, would have eventually killed him within the next few weeks, anyway-it could certainly be argued that what was happening to Michael in the last two months of his life amounted to the same thing as being poisoned. After all, according to the Merriam Webster definition, “poison” means “a substance that through its chemical action usually kills, injures, or impairs an organism.” In this case, the substance in question, propofol, was causing poisonous harm by inhibiting a vital bodily function necessary to survival-sleep. And, in keeping with that definition, I don’t think it is far fetched to refer to Michael’s death as a case of lethal poisoning, in light of Dr. Cziezler’s explosive testimony.
Expert: Michael Jackson went 60 days without real sleepBy Alan Duke, CNNupdated 11:15 AM EDT, Mon June 24, 2013Los Angeles (CNN) — Michael Jackson died while preparing to set a world record for the most successful concert run, but he unknowingly set another record that led to his death.Jackson may be the only human ever to go two months without REM — rapid eye movement — sleep, which is vital to keep the brain and body alive. The 60 nights of propofol infusions Dr. Conrad Murraysaid he gave Jackson to treat his insomnia is something a sleep expert says no one had ever undergone.“The symptoms that Mr. Jackson was exhibiting were consistent with what someone might expect to see of someone suffering from total sleep deprivation over a chronic period,” Dr. Charles Czeisler, a Harvard Medical School sleep expert, testified Friday at the wrongful-death trial of concert promoter AEG LIve.
The symptoms documented by e-mails among show producers and testimony from his chef, hairstylist and choreographers included his inability to do standard dances or remember words to songs he sang for decades, paranoia, talking to himself and hearing voices, and severe weight loss, Czeisler said.
“I believe that that constellation of symptoms was more probably than not induced by total sleep deprivation over a chronic period,” he testified.Propofol disrupts the normal sleep cycle and offers no REM sleep, yet it leaves a patient feeling refreshed as if they had experienced genuine sleep, according to Czeisler.
If the singer had not died on June 25, 2009, of an overdose of the surgical anesthetic, the lack of REM sleep may have taken his life within days anyway, according Czeisler’s testimony Friday.
Lab rats die after five weeks of getting no REM sleep, he said. It was never tried on a human until Murray gave Jackson nightly propofol infusions for two months.
Translating that to a human, Czeisler estimated, Jackson would have died before his 80th day of propofol infusions. Murray told police he had given it to him for 60 nights before trying to wean him off it on June 22, 2009 — three days before his death.
Czeisler — who serves as a sleep consultant to NASA, the CIA and the Rolling Stones — testified Thursday that the “drug-induced coma” induced by propofol leaves a patient with the same refreshed feeling of a good sleep but without the benefits that genuine sleep delivers in repairing brain cells and the body.
“It would be like eating some sort of cellulose pellets instead of dinner,” he said. “Your stomach would be full, and you would not be hungry, but it would be zero calories and not fulfill any of your nutrition needs.”
Depriving someone of REM sleep for a long period of time makes them paranoid, anxiety-filled, depressed, unable to learn, distracted and sloppy, Czeisler testified. They lose their balance and appetite while their physical reflexes get 10 times slower and their emotional responses 10 times stronger, he said.
Those symptoms are strikingly similar to descriptions of Jackson in his last weeks, as described in e-mails from show producers and testimony by witnesses in the trial.
Jackson’s mother and children are suing AEG Live, contending that the company is liable in his death because it hired, retained or supervised Murray, who was convicted of involuntary manslaughter. They argue that the promoter pressured Murray to get Jackson to rehearsals while failing to get Jackson help despite numerous red flags warning that he was in trouble.
AEG Live lawyers contend that it was Jackson who chose, hired and supervised Murray, and their executives had no way of knowing about the dangerous propofol treatments administered in the privacy of Jackson’s rented mansion.
A very long question
Czeisler was back on the witness stand Friday to answer a question that was asked just as court ended Thursday. Jackson lawyer Michael Koskoff asked his expert what may also be a record-breaker in a trial: a 15-minute-long hypothetical question.
He was asked to render an opinion based on a long list of circumstances presented so far in the trial about Jackson’s condition and behavior, including:
• That Murray administered propofol to Jackson 60 consecutive nights before June 22, 2009.
• That Murray began to wean Jackson from propofol on June 22, 2009, and gave him none of the drug on June 23.
• That a paramedic who tried to revive him the day he died initially assumed he was a hospice patient.
• That show producers reported Jackson became progressively thinner and paranoid and was talking to himself in his final weeks.
• That the production manager warned that Jackson had deteriorated over eight weeks, was “a basket case” who he feared might hurt himself on stage and could not do the multiple 360-degree spins that he was known for.
• That show director Kenny Ortega wrote that Jackson was having trouble “grasping the work” at rehearsals and needed psychiatric help.
• That Jackson needed a teleprompter to remember the words to songs he had sung many times before over several decades.
• That show workers reported the singer was talking to himself and repeatedly saying that “God is talking to me.”
• That Jackson was suffering severe chills on a summer day in Los Angeles and his skin was cold as ice to the touch.
Jackson lawyers revised the question Friday morning after AEG Live lawyers objected to the information about Murray’s nightly propofol treatments, since it was derived only from the doctor’s statement to police after Jackson’s death. The judge previously ruled that statement inadmissible.
Instead, they brought up evidence that Murray ordered more than four gallons of propofol between April and June, which Czeisler said equaled 155,000 milliliters of the drug. An anesthesiologist uses between 20 and 30 milliliters to induce a coma for surgery, he said.
The expert testified that his review of Jackson’s medical records convinced him that the singer suffered a chronic sleep disorder that “was greatly exaggerated” while he was on tour or preparing for a tour.
Jackson died just two weeks before he would have traveled to London for the premiere of his “This Is It” comeback concerts, produced and promoted by AEG Live.
A lecture on sleep
Jurors appeared quite interested as Czeisler lectured them Thursday on his sleep research, including an explanation of circadian rhythm: the internal clock in the brain that controls the timing of when we sleep and wake and the timing of the release of hormones
“That’s why we sleep at night and are awake in the day,” he said.
Your brain needs sleep to repair and maintain its neurons every night, he said.
Blood cells cycle out every few weeks, but brain cells are for a lifetime, he said.
“Like a computer, the brain has to go offline to maintain cells that we keep for life, since we don’t make more,” he said. “Sleep is the repair and maintenance of the brain cells.”
An adult should get seven to eight hours of sleep each night to allow for enough sleep cycles, he said.
You “prune out” unimportant neuron connections and consolidate important ones during your “slow-eyed sleep” each night, he said. Those connections — which is the information you have acquired during the day — are consolidated by the REM sleep cycle. Your eyes actually dart back and forth rapidly during REM sleep.
“In REM, we are integrating the memories that we have stored during slow-eyed sleep, integrating memories with previous life experiences,” he said. “We are able to make sense of things that we may not have understood while awake.”
Learning and memory happen when you are asleep, he said. A laboratory mouse rehearses a path through a maze to get to a piece of cheese while asleep.
The area of a basketball player’s brain that is used to shoot a ball will have much greater slow-eyed sleep period since there is more for it to store, he said. Players shoot better after sleep.
The Portland Trailblazers consulted with him after they lost a series of East Coast basketball games, he said. He was able to give their players strategies for being sharper when traveling across time zones.
He’s worked with the Rolling Stones on their sleep problems, he said. Musicians are vulnerable since they are often traveling across time zones and usually “all keyed up” to perform at night, he said.
Czeisler developed a program for NASA to help astronauts deal with sleep issues in orbit, where they have a sunrise and sunset every 90 minutes.
Other clients include major industries that are concerned about night shift workers falling asleep on the job, the CIA, the Secret Service and the U.S. Air Force, he said.
Jackson lawyers argue that AEG Live should have consulted a sleep expert like Czeisler for Jackson instead of hiring Murray — a cardiologist — for $150,000 to treat the artist.
The trial ends its eighth week in a Los Angeles courtroom Friday. Lawyers estimate that the case will conclude in early August.
I should add that there is a video of an interview with another sleep expert on the CNN website from which I took this article, which you can access via the above link. However, I think what she has to say about sleep deprivation and the advice intended for insomniac sufferers “like Michael Jackson” is pretty much useless, since all of the remedies she suggests are only effective for mild case insomnia. While good intentioned, perhaps, she is failing to take into account that Michael had, at some point, tried ALL of these remedies-and nothing had worked. Yes, the use of propofol may have been “beyond the pale,” as she put it. But this was, as most sleep experts have recognized, a “beyond the pale” case of insomnia. It was certainly not one that was going to be solved by a little exercise, or a cup of herbal tea.
One thing that struck me as sad, in a poetic kind of way, is that if we believe Cziesler’s testimony and put trust in his expertise, it all comes down to one, simple truth:
Michael Jackson may have died by losing his ability to dream.
Aside from the rejuvenation and restoration of brain cells and other vital organs, the characteristic most associated with REM sleep is dreaming. As Cziesler noted, it is during this phase of sleep that the subconscious is working out vital memories, helping the brain to process all of the information stored throughout the day, as well as life experiences. From the beginning of time, our ability to dream has always been a source of great fascination and mystery. We now know that it serves many important physical functions as well that are necessary for the maintenance of physical health and mental functioning.
If what we are hearing is true, and Michael had experienced no REM sleep for 60 days, it means that in all likelihood, he hadn’t dreamed in 60 days.
Obviously, I’m playing with this idea on two levels-the physical one, obviously, but also the deeper, more symbolic one. Michael Jackson, whose career owed so much to being one of the greatest dreamers of our time, may have lost that ability in more ways than one.
“You can kill the dreamer, but you can’t kill the dream”-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
In principle, a period of anesthesia might modify the
homeostatic regulation of sleep debt in three ways. For
example, general anesthesia might be a permissive state
that allows normal sleep homeostatic processes to occur.
An anesthetized organism would thus repay sleep
debt built up during previous wakefulness and emerge
less sleep-deprived after an anesthetic than before. Alternatively,
anesthesia might progressively increase sleep
debt in a fashion similar to wakefulness. Prolonged anesthetics
would then induce a sleep-deprived state. Finally,
anesthesia might represent a state unlike either
sleep or waking, in which sleep debt neither accumulates
nor dissipates. Organisms emerging from anesthesia
would then have the same degree of sleep deprivation as
when they were initially anesthetized.
Delayed, propofol-induced effects on sleep may also
have altered the interpretation of our results. In humans,
the combination of inhaled anesthetics and surgery results
in initial suppression of REM sleep, followed by a
rebound increase on the second or third postoperative
However, at this point, I was getting a bit confused by the findings. Several medical sources seemed to dispute Cziesler’s claims, giving the impression that anesthesia can produce the same recovery from sleep deprivation as natural sleep:
Anesthesiology. 2004 Jun;100(6):1419-26.
Recovery from sleep deprivation occurs during propofol anesthesia.
Department of Anesthesia and Critical Care, The University of Chicago, Illinois 60637, USA. firstname.lastname@example.org
Some neurophysiologic similarities between sleep and anesthesia suggest that an anesthetized state may reverse effects of sleep deprivation. The effect of anesthesia on sleep homeostasis, however, is unknown. To test the hypothesis that recovery from sleep deprivation occurs during anesthesia, the authors followed 24 h of sleep deprivation in the rat with a 6-h period of either ad libitum sleep or propofol anesthesia, and compared subsequent sleep characteristics.
With animal care committee approval, electroencephalographic/electromyographic electrodes and intrajugular cannulae were implanted in 32 rats. After a 7-day recovery and 24-h baseline electroencephalographic/electromyographic recording period, rats were sleep deprived for 24 h by the disk-over-water method. Rats then underwent 6 h of either propofol anesthesia (n = 16) or ad libitum sleep with intralipid administration (n = 16), followed by electroencephalographic/electromyographic monitoring for 72 h.
In control rats, increases above baseline in non-rapid eye movement sleep, rapid eye movement sleep, and non-rapid eye movement delta power persisted for 12 h after 24 h of sleep deprivation. Recovery from sleep deprivation in anesthetized rats was similar in timing to that of controls. No delayed rebound effects were observed in either group for 72 h after deprivation.
These data show that a recovery process similar to that occurring during naturally occurring sleep also takes place during anesthesia and suggest that sleep and anesthesia share common regulatory mechanisms. Such interactions between sleep and anesthesia may allow anesthesiologists to better understand a potentially important source of variability in anesthetic action and raise the possibility that anesthetics may facilitate sleep in environments where sleep deprivation is common.
(The free full text of this article is available, btw).
But then, I found this important article that was published, shortly after Michael’s death, in the July 2009 issue of Science Life. This was an interview with the same experts who conducted the studies linked to above, and thankfully, was written in layman’s terms (make that plain English!) for those of us who aren’t doctors or medical experts. I will link to the entire article, but to save time and space for right now, let’s just excerpt the passage that concerns our present purpose most:
Q: But does that mean that propofol sedation is the same as sleep?
Tung: Propofol sedation is nothing at all like sleep. Sleep is reversible with external stimulation – if you shake somebody, they wake up. Propofol is obviously not like that. Sleep shows a characteristic pattern of EEG behavior, while propofol does not. (For instance, Tung explains, cyclical patterns of REM and nonREM sleep are not observed during propofol sedation, in rats or humans) Sleep, in general, preserves blood pressure and the ability to breathe and propofol does not. They are very different states.
Q: All of your propofol research has been in rats, has there been any research done in humans along these lines?
Tung: No, there has not. It does appear that humans given propofol for prolonged periods do not appear to be sleep deprived when you turn off the drug. No data exist to support the specific use that has been alleged in the Michael Jackson case (using propofol as a treatment for insomnia),. Use to facilitate regular sleep is not at all safe. The benefit is way outstripped by the risk…if there is any benefit.
Nobody is advocating its use outside a hospital for patients that are not critically ill. That is outside the boundaries of currently accepted care.
Ah, so now it all starts to make sense, and goes right back to exactly what Cziezler said:
“It would be like eating some sort of cellulose pellets instead of dinner. Your stomach would be full, and you would not be hungry, but it would be zero calories and not fulfill any of your nutrition needs.”-Dr. Charles Cziesler
The four stages outside of REM sleep are called non-REM sleep (NREM). Although most dreams do take place during REM sleep, more recent research has shown that dreams can occur during any of the sleep stages. Tore A. Nielsen, Ph.D., of the Dream and Nightmare Laboratory in Montreal, refers to this as “covert REM sleep” making an appearance during NREM sleep. Most NREM dreams, however, don’t have the intensity of REM dreams.
And let’s not forget that Michael was being put under for 60 consecutive days (if we go by Murray’s police report). As Cziesler pointed out, there are simply no other human experiences by which to gauge the effect this would have had on his mind and body. Michael was being subjected to a completely unprecedented medical experiment.
“I have watched him deteriorate in front of my eyes over the last 8 weeks. He was able to do multiple 360 spins back in April. He’d fall on his ass if he tried now,” production manager John “Bugzee” Houghdahl wrote in an e-mail to AEG Live CEO Randy Phillips on June 19, 2009.
“They lose their balance…their physical reflexes get ten times weaker…”
It’s sad to think of Michael Jackson losing his ability to perform his dazzling 360 spins. This was not only one of his signature dance moves, but also his absolute favorite to perform. In Dancing the Dream, he described it thus:
“I throw my head back and a swirling nebula says, ‘Fast now, twirl!’
Grinning, ducking my head for balance, I start to spin as wildly as I can. This is my favorite dance, because it contains a secret. The faster I twirl, the more I am still inside. My dance is all motion without, all silence within. As much as I love to make music, it’s the unheard music that never dies. And silence is my real dance, though it never moves. It stands aside, my choreographer of grace, and blesses each finger and toe.”-Michael Jackson, excerpted from “Dance of Life.”
It is even sadder in light of the fact that what Cziesler is referring to is irreversible damage. Brain cells are not an on again, off again switch. Once they are damaged, it is irreparable. As we saw in This Is It, Michael was certainly still capable of being an amazing dancer, but as pointed out in testimony, we don’t see him performing any 360 spins. Many have pointed out that his dancing seemed a bit “off” but I had always just chalked it up to the fact that this was rehearsal footage and that Michael was not dancing full out (to my knowledge, he never did in rehearsals; he didn’t need to). Just as he was always saying, “I need to conserve my throat” he also very seldom pushed himself to full capacity in rehearsal. People who wanted to be nitpicky picked on a lot of things for the wrong reasons. His sidestep glides, for example (or, as some call it, the side moonwalk) look clumsy in the film for a good reason. Look at his feet. He is wearing hard soled street shoes in those segments-shoes with heels, in fact. Not his customary penny loafers, which gave him the much needed agility and traction for those moves. This may also explain why there was no moonwalk in Billie Jean (again, aside from the fact that this was only a rehearsal run through).
Also, there was much unnecessary over analyzing of some of his “manic” looking moves during the Human Nature segment. (Remember when everyone was wondering if “The Penguin” was a new dance move he was planning for the concerts?). I can sum up the truth about those moves in just a few chosen words: It’s called HAVING FUN. In typical MJ fashion, Michael was cutting up and teasing. It may have looked a bit manic, but these were never moves he seriously intended to use.
But again, This Is It can not be relied on as an entirely accurate depiction of what his last rehearsals were like. What we saw was the best of the best, culled over roughly about two nights’ worth of decent performances and a few bits and pieces sliced in from other good moments. When I stop to think about it, it’s really true that we don’t ever see him performing any of his routinely most challenging dance moves. There are no spins, no moonwalks, and only a few clumsily executed glides. Of course, to offset that, we still have a killer Smooth Criminal routine that is spot on flawless, a well executed Thriller routine (in which he does dance full out) and that amazing Beat It segment which required multiple jumps, spins, and falling on the floor-all of which he manages to do as well as the dancers half his age. He also looked very good during the Jackson 5 routine, although here we are talking dance moves he had known intrinsically since childhood, so perhaps that is no surprise.
In short, just because we don’t see these moves in This Is It doesn’t mean that he couldn’t perform them. But that is also no reason to dispute the validity of the eyewitness claims, those like Houghdahl who were witnessing what they specifically described as a measurable physical decline between April and June.
Now, let’s go back to Cziesler’s own words again:
” They lose their balance and appetite while their physical reflexes get 10 times slower and their emotional responses 10 times stronger.”
Many of the witnesses have claimed that Michael exhibited signs of increased paranoia during this period. However, I always take that term “paranoia” with a grain of salt. It’s an overused term; one of the media’s favorite catch phrases when describing Michael’s more extreme fears and anxieties. The bottom line is that much of the time he had damn good reason to be “paranoid,” if that’s what we wish to call it. In my estimation, it cannot truly be paranoia if a person has legitimate and valid reasons to be fearful. Paranoia is a psychological term used to describe exaggerated or imaginary fears and anxieties about being harmed. I don’t think Michael’s concerns were necessarily unfounded ones. But the effects of this slow poisoning could well have been working on his physiological state, making his emotional responses to such stimuli-whether real or imagined-much more intense. You know how we always joke about how overly emotional women are on their periods, due to the hormonal imbalances during that time? Well, take that and multiply it several times over, and I believe you have something very much akin to what Michael was experiencing during those weeks, only the cause was not hormonal, but due to very real and dangerous chemical changes going on in his brain. This would have made any amount of stress almost impossible to deal with (let alone the hugely monumental stress he was being put under with these shows and rehearsals) and any conflict apt to set him on edge, regardless of how serious or petty the actual offense.
“After he got off the phone, he would cry,” Prince Jackson testified. “He would say ‘They’re going to kill me, they’re going to kill me.'”-From Prince Jackson’s testimony.
I want to make it clear that I am not in any way trying to diminish or invalidate why Michael may have been making these claims. I am only pointing out that what Prince testified, along with what other witnesses have said, seems to bear out that Michael was in a highly emotional and agitated state throughout these weeks in question, which again is another symptom pointing to Cziesler’s theory that lack of REM sleep was severely affecting his judgement during these weeks. Perhaps Michael did feel they were trying to kill him, but I believe that had he not been hampered by the effects this poison was wrecking on his body and mind, he would have been able to think more clearly and rationally and would have been able to exercise better judgment in how to deal with those pressures.
And what about these reported symptoms?
• That show director Kenny Ortega wrote that Jackson was having trouble “grasping the work” at rehearsals and needed psychiatric help.
• That Jackson needed a teleprompter to remember the words to songs he had sung many times before over several decades.
As Cziesler pointed out, a severely REM-impaired individual, as Michael surely was at this point, would be distracted and unable to concentrate, and certainly memory- impaired. It’s interesting to note that Kenny Ortega was requesting psychiatric help, however, without taking into consideration that there may have been very possible PHYSICAL reasons for this lack of focus. This distinction is important, because the one still carries with it the stigma of Michael’s “issues” having a psychological basis, rather than a physical one-especially when we consider that his physical decline at this point was due to the “care” he was supposedly receiving in order to do AEG’s bidding. This is also why Dr. Cziesler’s testimony is so crucial to our understanding of what was really going on with Michael at the end.
But how much should we really make of the memory issue? I have listened to many live MJ performances-including several from the peak of his career-in which he appears to “scat” his way through hits like “Beat It,” often substituting nonsensical lines in place of the actual lyrics. He would often improvise this way as he shaped the songs (his demos bear this out) and sometimes, in concert, he would fall back on this sort of improvisation. I am sure that Kenny Ortega and those who had worked with him for years would know the difference, but I think it is worth mentioning since we know how the media has always loved to exaggerate these negative reports.
For example, very recently when I was researching for a post about Michael’s tendency to write motivational notes to himself-those notes he would often write on his bathroom mirrors, or would stick in various spots throughout his house-I found this snarky piece from The Daily Mail. Of course, they not only referred to the notes as “bizarre” (even though they were positive and inspirational) but made special mention of what was apparently a “reminder” to include We Are The World in his setlist. Here is the excerpt from that article:
Also included was a reminder about singing his hit ‘We Are The World’ during his show.
The source said: ‘It’s worrying that he had to write reminders about things as obvious as these while he was rehearsing for his tour.
However, I can assure you there was nothing at all unusual in posting such a reminder! What this article does NOT mention is the fact that We Are The World-despite being one of Michael’s biggest hits-was never a staple of his live shows. It was never a song he routinely performed, in all of the twenty-four years since he had recorded it in 1985 and out of three world tours since. Therefore, the idea that he just might need a post-it sticky to remind himself to insert We Are The World into his setlist is really not that far-fetched. After over twenty years of performing a live setlist that seldom had few variations, it would make sense that he might have the need to post a reminder that a deviation was planned. Anyone with any familiarity of Michael’s live shows would know this (but, of course, this is typical of the kind of lazy journalism that permeates the profession today; they just assume that their readers would take it for granted that We Are The World was a staple of his live shows. Who’s going to fact check a thing like that unless they are a diehard fan, right?).
These kinds of stories have been repeated and circulated endlessly, all with the intention of creating a portrait of someone who was a “basketcase” in his last days-but always, a “basketcase” due to his own making. Seldom have any physical factors, other than addiction and drug dependency, been considered as possible reasons for these symptoms. Again, this is a reason why Dr. Cziesler’s testimony is crucial.
And what about the reported delusions, the ramblings, the comments that “God is talking to me?”
That show workers reported the singer was talking to himself and repeatedly saying that “God is talking to me.
Q. You previously testified on those days Mr. Jackson looked good?
A. I didn’t say he LOOKED good. There’s no way somebody could look good that quickly. His rehearsal was better, sir.
Q. He had better rehearsal o the 23rd 24th but you still thought he was too thin?
A. Absolutely, sir. He was cold, very cold.
On almost all days at the end of June Michael was cold, but on June 19th he was cold like ice cubes:
‘That was the day that Michael was cold like ice cubes, he was shivering and shaking and couldn’t get warm. I got my space heater and put it next to him and wrapped him in a blanket.”
Karen Faye saw Michael in April 2009 and though he was very excited and upbeat she noticed that he was on the thin side. But in those days she still hoped he had time enough to build the body mass.
However the first time Michael came on stage, which was two months later, she saw the difference even from the way he looked in April.
A. At the beginning time frame he seemed happy I was with him, I’d touch him up and he’d seemed relatively normal.
Q. When did it change?
A. Well, I felt the turning point happened when he got on the stage.
Panish: So you told us about the skin and you told us about the weight.
Karen: His eyes were very dry.
Q. Anything else, you told us about him repeating himself?
A. For instance, whenever before he’d get on the stage for a scene. He would say make sure you stand where I can see you and he would say it repeatedly.
Prince said his dad was excited about his upcoming tour, produced by AEG Live, as was he, as he’d only seen him perform once. However, he said his dad would come home from rehearsals upset with AEG’s CEO, Randy Phillips, and his former manager, Dr. Tohme Tohme. “He would cry,” Prince said. “He would say, ‘They’re going to kill me. They’re going to kill me.'” Once, the singer became so enraged that he cursed out Tohme, Prince added. “[And] he never fought. He was too kind to fight,” he said. Prince also added that he was frightened of Phillips, who often spoke to Dr. Conrad Murray to in “hushed whispers.”
The little boy who used to kneel by his bedroom window at night in the little house in Gary, Indiana, dreaming those enormous dreams that had carried him to the pinnacles of stardom, had, in fact, lost his ability to dream.
That was the day in April of 2009 when Conrad Murray ordered four gallons of propofol-enough to ensure that Michael Jackson would never dream again.
UPDATE: 07/03/13: Another testimony has shed some interesting new light that is somewhat related to this topic. I will comment more when I have time to write in more detail: